When Liam was first born I often said, "I am NEVER having another baby ever again." I just wasn't prepared for the crying, the sleepless nights, the physical and emotional pain. I couldn't imagine going through all of that all over again. There was no way.

But now, almost ten months later, I think it wasn't so bad. It was definitely a difficult few months to start off with but it doesn't last. It gets easier. Eventually you and your baby get to know each other and find your groove. And I can't help but think, "I'd really like a second baby."

It won't be any time soon! Lord willing. I still need time to recuperate. I think it will be a few years before Alex and I start trying for another baby, but I definitely want another. I think Liam would be a fantastic big brother. How cute to see him in that role.

I would also love love love to have a baby girl. I love my boy. I feel so blessed to have a son. I see so much opportunity and love in our future. But having a daughter would be so very special. Frilly dresses, lunch/shopping dates, mani/pedis...

Whatever happens, happens. God knows the right timing and the right gender. For now I will enjoy the happy and healthy boy who is already in my life.

When did you know you were ready for another baby? Or are you not there yet? Or maybe you're fine with "one and done"?

I always say I'm a stay-at-home mom and don't work, but the truth is, I do have a job (I mean besides being a mom). It's a fantastic job that I work from home. I make pretty good money for not too much time. I think a lot of people would be envious of my situation. I get to stay home and take care of my little boy, but I still manage to make an income from home. I know I'm blessed but I'm just not passionate about what I do for work. I mean, it's okay. I don't hate it, but I don't particularly enjoy it either. Most of the time I really wish I didn't have to worry about it.

I'm okay with being "just" a stay-at-home mom for now. It's a lot of work actually! But I love that I get to spend my days with Liam. We play and learn and go on walks and eat lunch together and listen to music and pet Jaxon...it's great! But I know as he gets older he will need me less. He'll start school, make friends, go on outings with his grandparents...and then what will I do? Do I want to still be a stay-at-home mom? Do I want to work? I'm not really a career-driven person. I used to feel bad about that, like maybe I was setting women back a hundred years, but I don't feel bad anymore. I think the best part of feminism is that women can choose what they want to do, whether that's work outside the home or not, part time or full time or whatever. They're all valid choices as long as you are being wise and doing the best thing for your family.

Anyway, I'm not sure what I want to be when I "grow up," which is funny considering I have a BA in Psychology and a Master's degree in Biblical Counseling...and have years of experience in the education field...and I'm a mom. But I just don't know what the future holds. professional blogger perhaps??? Hah. Oh how nice it would be to get paid for writing in this dear blog of mine. For now, it's just for fun and I'm thankful for my readers!

Anyone else have thoughts about staying at home versus working outside of the home? And this is not a debate about which one is "better," just about which one is better for you.

I think my 27th birthday was my best one yet. I had a great day spending time with my two favorite guys. We hit up the zoo where Liam tried his hardest to pet all the animals and loved the carousel. And we had dinner and dessert at D Bar. I just love their cake & shake! I wish I could eat it everyday.

Thank you to my husband for making that day so special. Thank you to Liam for waking up at 7 that day and taking a nice long afternoon nap. And thank you to all my family and friends who wished me a happy birthday. Love you all!

I forgot to share on the blog that Liam got his first official haircut last Saturday. We went to Jack & Jill's Children's Salon in Cherry Creek and they did a fantastic job. Liam looked so cute sitting in his Mercedes as the lady clipped his hair. He did pretty well but wasn't digging the lady touching his face so we had to move him to sit in my lap to finish up the haircut. We also played his favorite Wiggles song on my mom's phone to keep him distracted.

He looks so handsome with his new do. I feel like he aged in the ten minutes it took to cut his hair! He doesn't look like my little baby anymore, he looks like a grown toddler!

P.S. It's my 27th Birthday today! I am enjoying it with my handsome boys. Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes I have received. I feel very loved!

The day we make the move back to Miami is getting closer and closer. I'm obviously really excited about moving home. I'm happy that I will be with family and my closest friends. I'm happy to be back in that tropical climate surrounded by crazy Hispanics. But I can't help but worry. About lots of things.

What are we going to do with our house in Denver? I'd like to sell it. Can we find a buyer so quickly? If we end up renting it, will it be difficult being landlords from across the country?

Where will we live in Miami? Temporarily we will stay with my grandmother, which is fantastic, but for how long? What part of Miami will we live in? What can we afford? What about a school for Liam? Where will we work? Do I want to work? Do I want to continue staying home with Liam?

What about paying for a moving truck, etc? What about having all our mail forwarded? This will be our fourth move since getting married, and there will be one more (when we move from my grandmother's house to our future home). I'm kinda tired of moving. I want to settle down already.

What if I still feel lonely? I know I'm an introvert and it's difficult for me to be intentional with my relationships at times. Also, it's been four years since we moved from Miami. Friends have continued living their lives without us. Is there room for us in their new lives?

How will this affect Liam? He's a sensitive baby. He likes the familiar. How will he adjust to the time difference...the climate difference...all the new faces. What about Jaxon? Will he be okay?

At the end of the day I know God is in charge of this whole move. He knows all the answers to my questions and worrying is a waste of time...but I'm only human. My faith is in a weakened state right now. I'm tired. I'm worn out. And our family needs lots of prayer.

Yesterday was my first official Mother's Day. It started off with Liam sleeping 11.5 hours straight and waking up for the day at 7:30am! Unheard of! That was definitely the best Mother's Day gift for this sleep-deprived mama. Alex made a delicious breakfast of strawberry pancakes, sausage, and potatoes. And then he gave me another awesome gift, an Olympus Pen camera! I love it! Carrying my Rebel around was such a hassle with all the baby stuff I need to lug around with me, so I was always relying on my phone for pictures. Now I have this amazing little camera that I can pop into my diaper bag and be on my way.

After Liam's morning nap we all went to Stapleton for lunch before my mom needed to head to the airport. We ate at Ling & Louie's which is always a good choice. We made a Target run (every mom's favorite shopping destination!) before Liam's afternoon nap.

That evening we went to church. I ended up hanging out in the nursery with Liam because he is still having some separation anxiety issues and who else would I rather spend Mother's Day with than the boy who calls me Mama (or will one day when he can talk!).

After Liam went to sleep for the night Alex and I ate Ling & Louie's leftovers (yummmm) and watched Mad Men (Sunday night tradition). We ended the night munching on homemade white chocolate strawberries (thanks babe!).

I am definitely a blessed mama.

I've had several requests to give an update on how cloth diapering is going so far. I'm happy to report that we still use and love cloth diapers. I phased out the fuzzibunz (and actually sold many of them to a local baby store) and have only been using bumgenius. I know many people love the fuzzibunz but I just like the bumgenius better. I also decided that I like the velcro ones better than the snaps. Both have pros and cons but when you have a very wiggly baby, velcro is the way to go. It's a personal preference.

We still use disposables at night but I'm strongly considering switching to cloth at nighttime too, especially since Liam is night weaned and his diapers aren't overloaded in the morning anymore. If we do switch over I plan on getting some really absorbent hemp liners at the suggestion of a fellow cloth diapering mama. We also use disposables whenever it's convenient. Sometimes if we will be out for a long time I will just put a disposable on him rather than worry about carrying a bunch of bulky cloth diapers.

Due to the very hard water we have here in Denver the diapers were beginning to get a bad smell. So I had to strip them several times. This basically involved rinsing them in hot water several times and doing a wash with some Dawn dish washing liquid. It definitely did the trick and now when I wash the diapers I do a cold rinse, hot wash, and hot rinse...to try to get rid of any laundry detergent build up. I still use Seventh Generation Free & Clear, it works great for us.

Also, since Liam started solids his stools are so much easier to clean! When he has a poopy diaper I just plop it into the toilet and flush it. The used diaper is barely dirty most of the time and I just stick it in the wet bag. I don't even have to rinse it off first (like when he was only breastfed). There have been a few nasty diapers but I just use the diaper sprayer to rinse it off before sticking it in the wet bag.

So that's the basic update. Cloth diapers are a major win in our family. Read previous cloth diapering posts here and here, and if you have any questions feel free to contact me!

Liam is quite the adventure-seeker. He started crawling so he is geting into everything, especially things he shouldn't like cables and Jaxon's water bowl. Sitting still is never an option for this one. He likes to watch Baby Einstein and will sometimes sit still while he watches but not always. He's a busy and curious boy. 

He likes to eat...everything. I'm pretty sure his stomach is a bottomless pit. He eats a mixture of purees and finger foods. He does this thing when I spoon-feed him where he clamps down on the spoon with his teeth and doesn't let go. I have no idea why he does that but it's pretty funny. We're going to try to give him eggs soon...last time he wasn't a fan but I think this time I will mix it with some avocado and see how it goes. He eats three solids meals a day, plus snacks in between, and nurses four times a day. He drinks water from a sippy cup and we give him prune juice (mixed with water) when he gets backed up, but no other juices yet. 

His sleep is...inconsistent. He has good nights and bad nights. He was doing so well sleeping in his crib all night and napping in his crib during the day, but ever since he got sick (and even before when he was having some digestive issues) his sleep has been thrown off. It's pretty nightmare-ish, but I keep thinking that things will get better. When he's feeling 100% again we will try to be more firm with him regarding his sleep. Sighhhh.

This boy has been experiencing some major separation/stranger anxiety. He usually only hangs out with me and Alex so other people are a bit iffy to him. He does okay with other people as long as one of us is with him, but if we leave him alone...oy vey, meltdown! I know it's normal at his age but I'm hoping when we move back to Miami he will be okay with his grandparents and other family members. We facetime with them everyday so I think he recognizes them. Alex and I are going to need some date nights so Liam will have to get used to it!

He doesn't say any words yet but babbles quite a bit and has started putting consonant sounds and vowels together like "ba" and "ma." He also does this funny grunt that sounds like a motor starting up. It's hilarious. He also likes it when I tap the table or the floor, he will laugh and then copy me. It's cute. 

Overall, Liam is a happy and healthy boy. I love him so much and feel so blessed to have this little boy in my life, even if he doesn't let me sleep! ;-)

"Breast is best!" You hear that a lot from supporters of breastfeeding. I have exclusively breastfed Liam from Day One. He's never had formula and I don't intend to ever give him formula. The kid never even takes bottles. He gets all his breastmilk "straight from the source." I do not, however, agree with the statement that "breast is best." I think breast is just normal. Our body grows the baby, births the baby, and then nourishes that baby with breast milk. It's normal. But breast isn't necessarily best for everyone. For some people breastfeeding for a few weeks is best, or six months, or two years. For some, it's best to formula feed from the start, for others a mix of breastfeeding and formula feeding works best for them. Each situation is different and I really don't think it's helpful to make mothers feel bad if they do not breastfeed their baby.

Obviously I believe in the benefits of breastfeeding and have strong feelings about nursing Liam until his first birthday at least. Our situation has allowed for exclusive breastfeeding. I stay at home with him and am his main caregiver. I just have never seen the sense in making bottles when I can feed him straight from my body. It's quick, it's easy, and there's no clean up involved. He also has never had issues with weight gain, allergies, etc. He has thrived on breast milk alone. Also, it's FREE. With me not really making any income I try my best to save money where I can. Formula is expensive and I'd rather not have to pay for it.

With our next baby I also plan on exclusive breastfeeding but I wouldn't ever turn my nose up at formula if we needed it. Formula is not evil or deadly. I know many babies who have thrived on formula and I'm sure they will grow up to be happy healthy kids. So is breast best? Maybe, sometimes. I would even venture to say that it is "best" most of the time. But really, it's just normal. It's how mamas have fed their babies from the beginning of time. And sometimes formula is best. I say as long as you feed your baby that's really the most important thing.